New Beginnings

The rush of pregnancy hormones and my big sister's new blog have prompted me to resume my own long forgotten blog. Nothing quite like competition and contractions to get you going! I would like to believe that my posts will be full of insightful wisdom, but in reality I'll feel a sense of accomplishment if I post more than once a month. :) As a mother and a graduate student I often feel as if I face a unique set of challenges than other working moms. I've struggled with balancing the demands of being a 24 hour mother (yes, you are still a worried mother when your child is in daycare) and an energetic grad student. Hopefully, blogging about my hoopla will give my friends and sisters a bit of a break from my incessant whining. Now, they will just be required to read and comment on it. :)

Two weeks from today, Sept 2nd, my routine life will be interrupted by a new addition to my little family. While this is wonderful and exciting news, I am also faced with cramming practicum credit hours and a few journalistic pieces into my life before my fall term begins on Sept 27th. This will be cake, right? RIGHT? As you can imagine, I am frantic and stressed in my head, but my body is really lazy and doesn't want to type anything related to my master's program. Of course, I talk myself up and sit down and type about 500 words before I find myself gazing out the window or popping up for another trip to the bathroom (stupid bladder!).

The problem is that grad school requires you to be a "yes" person. "Yes, I would love to write a piece on the American Terrorist Perspective!" "Yes, I can't think of anything more fun than transcribing hours of exit interviews with African refugees!" "Yes, I can be in Portland for that conference!" "Yes, I'm registered for fall term only 25 days after giving birth!" And I truly mean all of those statements! I love my grad program and would be devastated to give it up. I find it interesting and stimulating. It gives me purpose and a sense of accomplishment, as well as providing interesting conversation material in my marriage.

This summer has been the first time in four years that I have taken a summer off from school. I was worried about how I would do as a "stay-at-home" mom to my busy six year old, since I am not a patient person. These past couple of months have been extraordinarily rewarding, fun, and happy. Yes, I am surprised! Kyle is a fabulous kiddo, but I feel like I discover new things about this growing person that I love and admire. Without this summer, I would never have had the opportunity to focus on him so completely. Even though I have taken on a few projects with school, I find myself more drawn to his play and exuberant attitude for life. This must be why some lucky moms choose to stay at home! I have no regrets with going back to school; only new found appreciation for this little man in my life.

I'll be the first to admit that juggling both worlds is difficult at best and impossible at worst. However, I know that my life will always be this complicated, so I'm learning to ride the wave and let go of my guilt over what I am not able to accomplish.